I don't feel like writing my essay on reality right now so I'm just going to procrastinate. Honestly I want to be able to love people the way God does. Obviously I can't love them as much as He does but I want to at least get close. I'm pretty good at loving those who already love me or those who I know will love me back but its those other million people that I have trouble with. It's like I know what I want to do but I just don't do it. I get mad at other drivers when they go ten miles under the speed limit or cut me off. I get angry with my sister easily. Hey! Why is it so easy to fight with the people you love the most? Is it because you know they'll love you no matter what? That's horrible. They should be the ones I love all the time. Gahh. I don't want to be perfect, although it's usually what I aim for =/, I just want to not do the things I so plainly know are wrong. I'm really relating to Paul lately: "So the trouble is not with the law, for it is spiritual and good. The trouble is with me, for I am all too human, a slave to sin. I don't really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don't do it. Instead, I do what I hate!(romans 7)". Life is hard. I have a wonderful and blessed life but doing life and being the person I know God wants me to be is the difficult part. I truly believe God has something great in store for me and my life but it's hard to remember that when I get discouraged so easily. All I can say is I can't wait till I'm standing in His presence.
love you.
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